A Students Virtual World

Hey REALife Parents.
You are all well aware of the times we live in. We live in an age that is far more technologically advanced than we ever had when we were kids. Our students today are able to live in two different worlds...they live in the physical world with sports, school, family, and friends, but then they also live in a virtual world. Students today are able to create online identities. They are able to become anything they want to be through the way they represent themselves online. And here's the tricky part...often times you're son or daughter can be a completely different person in their virtual world than they are in the physical world. Soft spoken, shy students can be posting extremely inappropriate pictures of themselves online. Well mannered, highly polite students can say some of the most vulgar things on their facebook status update. Strong Christian students who read their Bibles, pray, attend Christian school, etc can be representing the complete opposite of that lifestyle in their virtual world.

I see this all the time. Students I know in the ministry who I believe to be seeking God strongly are completely lost online. It's almost as if students believe that what they type online does not count as it relates to their faith and their physical lives. We know that this is completely not true. What a student is posting online (pictures, comments, status updates, etc.) is a direct representation of what is going on in their heart. We need to be aware of this as adults who seek to guide our students towards God.

So here is my challenge to you. Monitor your students virtual world. When I see a student that I know post an inappropriate comment or picture I send them a private message asking them if they can consider what they did in relation to their faith. I suggest that you do the same thing with your son or daughter. They need this guidance. They need someone to help them think through their thoughts and actions in their virtual world just as much as their physical world.

A couple of tips:
(1) Get involved in your son or daughters virtual world. This may mean creating online accounts like twitter, facebook, www.formspring.me, and others (ask them what sites they are on) with the sole purpose of checking up on them. They may not like this, but it is your right as a parent to do this.

(2) Don't reprimand them publicly. Most social networking sites allow for public or private messaging. Don't call out your son or daughter publicly for the world (and their friends) to see, and make it known that you are questioning them privately because of your respect for them.

(3) Don't simply say "that was wrong and I want you to change it immediately." Help them get to the heart of the issue. I say something like these statements: "today you posted this___________. What happened to make you feel this way? Did you really mean that thing you posted, or was it impulsive? Why do you think I'm asking you about this post? Is that post something that truly represents the love of God for others to see? What can you do in the future to better deal with the feelings you had that made you post that? Have you considered deleting that post?

One last thing...I hope you know that even though confrontation with your son or daughter is difficult sometimes it is so beneficial. Try to push past that feeling to leave it alone and let it fix itself...it won't fix itself. We need to guide these students, and as parents you are able to help lead your son or daughter closer to God through these kind of interactions.