Media Insight Part 1

Instead of doing one long blog post about how to help parents navigate the world of social media, I decided it would be better to split it up into segments. Here's part one of this series.

I taught a class session at Meck about a year ago focused on boundaries with teenagers. My role was to provide insight on the issues related to technology. While researching, thinking, and praying through what to teach in that class the first thing that I felt prompted to remind parents is to TAKE BACK THE ROLE OF PARENT. Let me tell you how I related this to social media and technology.

When we were teenagers we didn't have the internet, Facebook, and Youtube. We didn't have cell phones and smart phones. We didn't have video games connected to the internet. Let's face it...teenagers probably know more about all this stuff than we do, but that doesn't mean they should have the right to use these devices any way they choose. We need to be aware that some of media being consumed by our teenagers is unhealthy, and they need to be guided by parents to help them filter out the bad from the good. Here are a couple a short reasons why we need to think about all of this:

1) Proverbs 22:6 tells us "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." It is God's desire that we guide younger generations to live for Him. I know it is so much easier to turn the other way. We think that we'll choose our battles and this doesn't seem to be that serious. If we can learn anything from recent news about the lives of teenagers it is that this is a big deal. Cyber-bullying, sexting (sending naked pictures of yourself or others via text message), and the mass quantities of easily accessible internet pornography are just a few reasons why our teens need guidance facing the challenges of media.

2) Many teenagers have split personalities...one in real life and one online. I've gotten to know so many high school students in person, and then I am completely surprised at the alter-ego I see from them online. It's two completely different people. We may believe that certain teens are doing fine and seems like a great person, but their online life tells a different story about what is really going on in their hearts.

So what should we do? I will go more into specific detail in future posts, but to start things off... try to be a part of their world. Listen to your child's music, watch their television shows, randomly check their text messages, read television show and movie reviews, become their friend on Facebook, read their blogs...basically get to know what is influencing your son or daughter and what image they are portraying online. This is a big first step in helping guide your child towards Godly living in these areas.

So where's the push-back? What are some of our excuses why we don't I'm sure there are more reasons than this but I wanted to speak briefly to a couple reasons why parents don't

1) It's too much work. I'll be honest...it is a lot of work. Raising a teenager is a lot of work, and raising them to follow God is even more work. Technology is advancing faster than we can keep up. And if I am unable to monitor everything my child does, then why try? The answer to that question is another question: is your son or daughter worth the effort?

2) What about my child's privacy? Here's what I have to say to that question? It is not their computer, their cell phone, their internet, their television, and their music if they didn't pay for them...they are yours. Monitor, limit, and maybe even eliminate entirely what your son or daughter is accessing technologically. Limit how often they are online and where they access the internet (it's a lot more difficult to look up pornography in the family living room). Monitor what websites they visit. Set up expectations and boundaries.

Now before going to the extreme and exhibiting full fledged iron fist control, think and pray through what steps you need to take because if your child is not used to your presence in this area of your life you may need to ease into this slowly They may think it's unfair, but as we end this let me tell you what I think would be more unfair. It would be unfair to allow someone to walk into something that's going to hurt them when we know better and can do something about it. It would be unfair for us sit back and withhold advice based on our maturity and experience that would be beneficial to teenagers simply because it might stir the waters a little bit. God has given you a great responsibility in raising children. Let's look to Him for strength and guidance and take back the role as parent in the lives of teenagers.

I hope this was helpful. May God bless you as you navigate the world of teen culture.