A Great Team For Ministry

I am approaching my five year wedding anniversary. I have had the blessing for the past five years to be married to by best friend. While marriage has it's ups and downs, I can look back over the past five years and thank God for what an amazing gift He has given me in my wife.

For the past five years, my wife Melissa has been the most consistent and encouraging supporter of my ministry. She not only cheers me on, she also pulls up her sleeves and volunteers for many hours each week on top of her regular work hours. She does this mainly in service to God, but also because she wants to support me.

Recently, I've been able to put in some extra volunteer hours for her area of ministry with the infant ministry at Meck. I was able to help her with an infant dedication that took place at our church (if you have a newborn or are expecting you should definitely look into this). I was able to help with some art, printing, set-up, and a few other tasks. The dedication was a huge success and went very well. We were eating lunch afterwards, when I was just overwhelmed in thinking about our lives together. I looked at her and said, "we make such a great team for ministry." And we do. We support each others passions. We build each other up. We encourage each other. And we are able to accomplish so much more together than we could ever possibly do on our own.

The reason why I am writing this is because in our new series we are talking about being a part of something bigger than ourselves. Melissa and I feel called to be a ministry team to do the work that God has put before us. God has also given you a team. He's given you a family, and together you can achieve things that you couldn't possibly do on your own.

I want to encourage you this month to see your family as a team for ministry. Get your family together and see how you can encourage each other towards deepening your faith and applying God's truth to your lives. Hebrews 10:24-25 says "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

Whenever we are able to work together as a team it is amazing how much we can accomplish and how much are drawn together. This month, think about a project that you and your family can do together so that you can be a part of something bigger than yourselves. If you regularly give to Meck or a charitable organization, join as a family and talk about the significance of your gift. If you give of your time in service, think about doing it as a family and encourage one another in the process. Find something this month that you can do together that can show your family that you make a much better ministry team together than individually.

And if you are looking for some options, you may want to consider checking out one of the Serve Days at Meck. Check out our Upcoming Events for more details: http://mecklenburg.org/upcoming.asp.

Not Everybody's Doing It

At REALife we have just finished our second installment of "The Battle Within" where we are talking about the topic of temptation. I was sitting in a small group of teenage guys last week when I asked them what were some of the biggest temptations they faced as high school guys. One of the top three things that they told me was the area of sex (pornography was second and "fitting in/peer pressure" was third). These are big temptations facing our students, but they are also areas where we can encourage them in their fight against temptation.

I've recently stumbled upon a report from the Center of Disease Control that studied sexual activity among teenagers in the United States (CLICK HERE to download the pdf). This report was eye-opening to say the least. I'll encourage you to check out the whole article if you have time, but here is one major highlight:

53% of boys and 58% of girls between the ages of 15-17 have never had a sexual encounter (including oral, anal, and vaginal intercourse)

Now let's re-visit my conversation with our high school guys. They're tempted by peer pressure to do what they think they have to do in order to fit in. They hear or assume that everyone in high school is having sex. So they are tempted by their peers (and maybe a little bit of hormones) to have sex. These temptations are very real and very strong. And this is where we can throw some encouragement at them.

Not Everybody's doing it. More than half of high school students in this age range are not having sex. Most students are waiting and holding out for sex. The biggest reason, as given by the report, for abstaining is on grounds of morality or religion. There are students just like them at their schools who are wading through the sea of temptation trying hard to follow the path that God wants them to follow, and a majority of them are staying strong.

We need to encourage these teenagers to continue to pursue God in this area of temptation. We are promised in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." God provides a way out when we are tempted. He is there for them in their times of greatest challenge, and as adults and parents of these teenagers we should be willing to lend a hand as well. Talk to your son or daughter about this article. Ask them if they are experiencing the pressure and temptation to be sexually active, and give them the encouragement and support the they need to resist temptation in their lives. Who knows... you may be the "way out" that God is providing for your son or daughter when they are facing temptation in their lives.

Temptation and Practical Application

So this weekend marks the start of a new series at REALife called “The Battle Within…understanding temptation.” I want to encourage you to make sure your son or daughter is here for this series. Students face temptation on a regular basis. They are inundated with websites, images, words, movies, relationships, and so much more that can either drive them towards God or away from God. Unfortunately in the world of teenagers many of these things drive them away from God. We are taking a deeper look into temptation these next few weeks to see what it is, how it effects us, and what to do about it in our lives.

But during this series I need your help. I am teaching about overcoming temptation in our student’s lives, but I need you to help me practice this with your son or daughter. Are you ready for some practical application of helping them overcome temptation in their lives? Warning: this is going to be tough.

One of the biggest temptations that face a majority of our high school guys (and girls for that matter) is pornography. I want to encourage you to click on the following link and read how pornography affects the lives of men both now and in their future relationships. Share this article with your son AND DAUGHTERS… girls struggle with this too, and if your daughter doesn’t struggle with it she will eventually date or marry a man who has struggled with this temptation.

CLICK HERE for the Link

And here are some questions to aid in your conversation with your son or daughter. As you enter this conversation, remind your son or daughter that you love them no matter what, and encourage them to be real with you. Here you go:

Do you currently view, or have you ever viewed pornography? When, where, and how did this happen? (Wow! Can you imagine yourself being this direct? In my years of youth ministry I have learned that being direct is the only way to get a direct answer.)

Is this something you currently struggle with, and if so can I help you overcome this temptation in your life? (FYI Parents… ask me if you need direction on installing parent protective software on your computer)

What did this article teach you about the dangers of pornography?

What steps do you need to take to ensure that pornography doesn’t destroy your life?

 And one last word of encouragement from the One who can help us conquer any temptation that comes our way:

1 Corinthians 10:13

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to us all. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

Camp High

Imagine this...

You are a teenager. You go away for a weekend with a bunch of your closest friends. You're separated from your computer, your TV, your video games, your homework, your hectic schedule, and the rest of your regular world. You take part in four different worship services where you praise God and hear about how to make Him a bigger part of your life. Your friends and other leaders at camp encourage your faith non-stop for about 50 hours straight. Say hello to the Camp High. This is the feeling where the only thing that matters to you is God. The only thing you want to do is worship. The only book you want to read is the Bible. The answer to every question is "Jesus." You get the picture. It's an amazing feeling, and you hope that it never ends.

Then you go home.... back to the same computer, same TV, same video games, same homework, and same crazy hectic schedule you always had. This wane in spiritual enthusiasm is tough on high school students. They miss the excitement, and they start to feel bad that they don't have the same passion for God that they had at camp. Right now is about the time our students will be feeling this way. We took a large majority of our students to our Fall Retreat a little more than a week ago, and that Camp High is about to dwindle.

That's where we come into the picture. While encouraging the church in Thessalonians 5, the Apostle Paul writes to them "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." Our students need us to encourage them in their faith. The Camp High is not designed to last forever, but students need to have that encouragement in their faith from adults and parents who care about them. We can't let them move from a world where they get that encouragement non-stop to an environment where they don't get that encouragement at all.

So let's take Paul up on his advice, and let's intentionally start a spiritual conversation with a student today. Let's encourage them where we see God working in there life and challenge them to give Him more of their life. Let's give our students a reminder of the Camp High as a way to encourage them to grow closer to the God that didn't just stay at camp, but is with them every moment of every day.

Expectations

Luke 9:57-62  As they were walking along, someone said to Jesus, “I will follow you wherever you go.” But Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place even to lay his head.” He said to another person, “Come, follow me.” The man agreed, but he said, “Lord, first let me return home and bury my father.” But Jesus told him, “Let the spiritually dead bury their own dead! Your duty is to go and preach about the Kingdom of God.” Another said, “Yes, Lord, I will follow you, but first let me say good-bye to my family.” But Jesus told him, “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.”

I was reading through this passage of scripture above and God really made me realize something. If I say that I want to follow Jesus, He has an expectation for what that means. I mean sure I know what I think it means to follow Jesus, but is my expectation of "following" the same as His? He expects me to give of my time, effort, energy, resources, and more when I follow Him, and I shouldn't expect to give any less than what He is asking of me.


This is a lesson that relates to us individually, but I also believe that it relates all too well to teenagers. We have expectations for our teens. We expect them to go to school. We expect them to do their homework. We expect them to be polite and courteous. We expect them to clean up after themselves.

Time for the gut check... Do we expect them to be investing in their relationship with Jesus?

If you answered "yes" to that question, let me ask you another one. Do they know that you expect them to be investing in their relationship with Jesus?

Teenagers are very smart. They learn all too well what is important to us, and they will work hard at meeting the expectations of their parents. In addition to "have you done your homework" and "have you cleaned your room" do we ever ask "have you read your Bible or prayed today" or "how did you demonstrate God's love to others at school today"? These are things that Jesus expects of those who follow Him, and as adults (and parents) you can help reinforce those expectations in the life of your son or daughter.

There are two main ways that I want to challenge you in this lesson.

First, set these expectations for yourself. Are you involved in/attending church? Are you reading your Bible and praying daily? Are you intentionally living out your faith in an obvious way to others? Are you expecting to do these things in your life? This has to be real to us before we can make it real to them.


Second, talk to your son or daughter about these expectations you have for their life. Show them that God is the most important thing to you, and tell them that you expect Him to be the most important thing to them. Make sure they know that you will be asking them more regularly about their faith, then actually follow through with it.

And some encouragement as we wrap this up... We should expect for God to do amazing things in our lives when we do what He expects us to do.

Are You Up For A Challenge?

Romans 10:14-15 tells us:
^"But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, “How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!"

Paul writes these words in Romans almost two thousand years ago, and they still ring true today. But lately I've been thinking about it in terms of how to apply this truth to high school students. Yes, students need to hear the gospel that Christ came and paid the price for their sins so that they can go to heaven. And yes, we need to tell them about this amazing truth. But to a high school student, is that enough? In my opinion, I don't think so.

The longer I am in student ministry the more I realize how much students need to see a living example of what following Jesus looks like. They need to see their parents and other adults they respect eager to attend church each weekend, passionate about inviting their friends, hungry to spend time with God daily outside of church, and committed to living their lives for Jesus before these students will truly understand what following Him means for their lives. "How can they hear about him unless someone tells them" can more accurately relate to high school students when put "how will they know He means something to them unless you show them that He means something to you?"

Students need to see that Jesus should invade our entire lives... our families, our jobs, our finances, our hobbies, our language, everything. It will only be then that students will begin to see that God means something to them in their lives.

So, are you up for a challenge? I want us all to take a little inventory, myself included, and ask ourselves these questions:

_How often are topics of God and faith discussed in my family?

_When was the last time I asked someone how I can pray for them?

_When was the last time I spent time with God outside of church (and is this a consistent thing)?

_With the exception of church on Sunday, would my life be any different without Jesus?

Chances are, if we can't confidently answer these questions, our students can't either. As adults, let's set an example for our students to follow. Let us be able to tell our students what Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 11:1 which says "follow me as I follow Christ." Students are looking for someone to show them that God means something to them. Will you be that person?

Challenge extended. Will you accept?

Parent Meeting

Just a reminder... our REALife Parent Meeting is this Tuesday at 7 P.M. at our North Charlotte Campus. Come here about our new school year at REALife, ask questions, and find out how you can be involved with our mission to reach the thousands of high school students in the Charlotte area. Dessert will be provided, and please RSVP to let us know you will be attending. Click Here to register.

Discussion on Homosexuality

This week our Senior Pastor Jim White has been posting biblical insight into the topic of homosexuality. I am sorry I didn't think to link to this sooner, but you can catch up on all of these by heading to his blog by CLICKING HERE. This is an important topic to discuss with our students, as this issue is constantly drawing more and more attention.

Summer Events Reminder

Next Monday, July 18, we've got our second edition of our Student Ministry Summer Nights service. Our first one broke all our former records of attendance and rocked the house. We hope to see even more students this time come to hear the word of God being preached, so encourage your son or daughter to be there and to bring a friend. You never know how much impact one invitation can have on someone when God collides with their life.

Other event reminders:

Lake Day - August 6
Summer Nights - August 22

S'CAMP Highlights

We got back from S'CAMP last Friday, and it's taken me that long to recover to be able to write this post. We had an awesome time at S'CAMP. We got to see God move in amazing ways. A large percentage of our group made re-commitments in their faith while several others made first time commitments to Christ (some of whom we have been praying for for long time). I also had the privilege of baptizing eleven students on this trip! Our whole experience was so deep spiritually, and on top of that it was truly amazing socially as well. Students were encouraging each other on in the faith. Age barriers were broken as Senior and Freshman and everyone in between found ways to break down the barriers of cliques to unite as one church family. I must say I was blown away at the amazing love I saw displayed by our students for each other as well as their love for all of the other groups at the camp.

These kind of trips are so unifying for our student body. It really does unite us and helps us build momentum towards personal spiritual growth as well as outreach to those who have yet to experience the love of Jesus. Please keep praying for our students and our ministry as we will seek to use this energy to reach Charlotte teens with God's love.

And by the way... our dates for our Fall Retreat are October 7-9. Mark your calendars.

A Specific Ask

Following up to my last post about serving, I want to check in with some of you parents to see if you can give a little bit of time to the student ministry this summer. Our middle and high school ministries are combining for one big service each month, and we are in need of people to help with some set up. These services will be meeting on the Mondays of June 27, July 18, and August 22. We will be doing most of our set up on the Sunday afternoon the day before each of these meetings. The approximate time we need help will be from 12 P.M. to 1 P.M. after our last morning service on Sunday. If you feel a desire to come help us out, please send me an email to let me know and I we will be in touch with you soon to let you know more details.

Serving this Summer

It is a high priority of mine to emphasize serving in the lives of our students at REALife. There is so much to be said for developing a life of prayer and meditation on God's word. These are such essential pieces of our spiritual lives, but so often that's where most people stop. I like to try to instill in our students that the Christian life is meant to be lived as evidence to the love of Jesus that we have received. The book of James chapter one verse twenty-two also tells us "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." When the Bible tells us to love God and love our neighbor as ourself, these are not commandments to "feel" love for people, but to live it out in our lives.

At REALife we do this in two ways. We encourage our students to get involved at Meck serving in one of our ministries. We have so many areas where we are in need of volunteers at all of our campuses. From guest services to MECKidz and the arts team there are plenty of areas where they can get involved. We also go outside of the walls of our church to serve somewhere in the community once a month. The reputation of our students precedes us, as the workers at places like Crisis Assistance and Second Harvest Food Bank always tell me that our group has so much life, energy, and love.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, this summer I'd like to encourage you as parents to serve along side of your son or daughter. If you are not already serving at Meck in a ministry, talk to your family and see where you all might want to give of some of your time at Meck to help us towards our mission of reaching people with the love of Jesus. If you know of a place you would like to serve as a family, or even have more questions about it you can contact our director of connections, Kati Leach, at kleach@mecklenburg.org and she will connect you with a ministry leader who will get you serving right away (and if you want to serve at REALife, just let me know. I'd love to have you on the team).

There are also several opportunities each month to participate as a family in our monthly serve days at Meck. This is a great opportunity for students and parents, as we also encourage our REALife students to join up on these Serve Days through the summer instead of scheduling our own. For information about these Serve Days or to register head to mecklenburg.org/events for more details.

More Summer Dates

Below is the REALife summer calendar that you should expect in the mail next week. All the extra details of each event will be available on our website www.mecklenburg.org/realife.

This weekend marks the last REALife service of the school year before we start our summer programming. It really has been an awesome year. We've seen more spiritual and numerical growth than ever before. We had our highest attended Fall Retreat and will have our highest attended Summer Camp in REALife history. We've got more REALife volunteers pouring into our students than we've ever had (but we still need more if you're interested). We've moved our REALife service into our main auditorium to handle our growth. And this is all just the beginning of what I know God is going to do in and through our ministry. God is inspiring some creative ideas in our leadership to implement throughout the summer and into the fall, and I can't wait to share it with you. But for now, it will have to wait.

With as much as we are doing at REALife I do want to stop and thank you so much for all that you do as parents in the lives of your son or daughter to encourage them in their faith. We have one and a half hours that we spend with your student, but you are the biggest influence of faith in their lives. Keep up the hard work of investing in their spiritual lives, and know that I am praying for you.

Summer At REALife

Let me start off with a praise report. This year will mark the largest attending S'CAMP (summer camp) in REALife history. I am so pumped and ready for the fun and the amazing life change that will happen on this trip. Please be praying for our students and staff as we prepare to head down to camp in June.

...and on that note, we did have one female student drop out of camp, leaving one open spot for one female student. If you know of a student who would like to pick up this spot please let me know. First come, first served.

And our summer calendars will be sent out next week along with the website being updated, but I just couldn't wait until then to throw some dates at you for some of our awesome events we have coming up. Check these out, and mark your calendars. We're looking forward to a great summer.

"Summer Nights" Services: June 27, July 18, August 22

All-Nighter - July 8

Lake Day - August 6

Easter at Verizon

Just in case you haven't heard, Meck is holding our Easter service at Verizon Wireless Amphitheater. We've been planning this for a while, and it's going to be an amazing service. Check out the website for the event by CLICKING HERE. This really is a service you don't want to miss. With egg hunts and bounce houses for the kids and NEEDTOBREATHE performing for the adults, it's going to to be fun for all ages.

Also, I just wanted to remind you that we do not have REALife on Easter, April 24. Celebrate the resurrection of Jesus together as a family.

I recently found this website called University Parent Connection (http://www.universityparent.com/). This site helps parents prepare for their student heading off to college and gives tips on how that relationship can grow during those years. This site recently posted the following article, and I though I would share it with you. I hope you enjoy it, no matter what stage of high school your son or daughter is at .

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Tips for Supporting Your Student

Stay Connected

Support your student by staying connected. Communicate via phone, e-mail, IM, cell phones, SKYPE, and ‘snail’ mail. Students love to get real mail, especially care packages. Expect that your student will not respond to all of your contacts, but know that he or she appreciates hearing from you.

Checking-In

Give your student the opportunity to share feelings and ideas with you. He or she is experiencing new viewpoints and perspectives that may challenge prior belief systems. Allow your student to explore ideas without being judgmental. Understand that changes in viewpoints, behavior, dress, eating and sleeping habits, and relationships with parents are all to be expected during the college years.

However, if you suspect that some of these changes may be signs of bigger problems (alcohol or drug abuse, academic problems, etc..), refer your student to the Counseling and Psychological Services office. Trust your instincts. Your student may need you to refer him or her to the appropriate resources for help.

Be Knowledgeable About Campus Resources

Utilize parent resources, such as the school website or read any parent calendars, catalogs and handbooks provided by the University. These resources are designed specifically for parents and provide a great deal of information about the University and its departments. Helping your student to navigate a large university by referring him or her to the appropriate resources is one of the best ways for you to mentor your college student during this transition to adulthood.

By acting as a referral source, you can demonstrate that you are interested in your student’s life at the University, and at the same time, you empower your student to solve his or her own problems.

Continue to Have Difficult Conversations

As a parent of a college student, you no longer have the same control that you once had. However, you do still have a tremendous influence on your son or daughter’s behavior. In college, your son or daughter will have to make their own decisions including what time to get up in the morning, when to study, when to exercise, whether or not to drink alcohol, how much alcohol to drink if any, and whether or not to engage in sexual relationships. While you cannot force your student to behave exactly as you would want them to, parents can share their values and beliefs with their students on these topics.

Studies show that parents influence their child’s behavior regarding drugs, alcohol, and risky sexual behavior even after their child leaves for college. Provide your student with the facts on these issues, and empower them to distinguish between good and bad decisions when it comes to their behavior, health, and safety.

Create an atmosphere of open communication, and your student will not only appreciate that you respect him or her as an adult, but he or she will also be more likely to turn to you for guidance.

Ask Questions — But Not Too Many

Most first-year college students desire the security of knowing that someone from home is still interested in them. Parental curiosity can be alienating or supportive depending on the attitudes of the persons involved. Honest inquiries and other “between friends” communication and discussion will do much to further the parent-student relationship.

Expect Change

Your student will change. College and the experiences associated with it can effect changes in social, vocational, and personal behavior and choices. It’s natural, inevitable, and it can be inspiring. Often though, it’s a pain in the neck.

You can’t stop change, you may never understand it, but it is within your power (and to you and your student’s advantage) to accept it. Remember that your son or daughter will be basically the same person that you sent away to school.

Do Not Tell Your Student That “These Are the Best Years of Your Life”

College can be full of indecision, insecurities, disappointments, and most of all, mistakes. It’s also full of discovery, inspiration, good times, and exciting people. It may take a while for students to realize that their Hollywood-created images of what college all about are wrong. Hollywood doesn’t show that college is about being scared, confused, overwhelmed, and making mistakes.

Students may feel these things and worry that they are not ‘normal’ because what they’re feeling is in contrast to what they’ve been led to believe while growing up. Parents can help by understanding that the highs and lows of college life are a critical part of your son or daughter’s development, and by providing the support and encouragement to help him or her understand this as well.

Trust Your Student

College is also a time for students to discover who they are. Finding oneself is a difficult enough process without feeling that the people whose opinions you respect most are second-guessing your own second-guessing

One more thing from me that this article did not have...

Never stop praying for your son or daughter, and never stop investing in their spiritual development.

Proverbs 22:6 "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it."

REALife Summer

For starters, this is your official reminder that the S'CAMP registration deadline is this Sunday, April 17. This is an amazing trip, so make sure you get your son or daughter registered. CLICK HERE to head to our events page and register now.

Also on the way is our REALife summer schedule. We break from regular REALife schedule for the summer, and during those months we alternate between REALife services, events, hang-outs, and service projects. We've got a lot of great plans and events, so stay tuned for our REALife Summer Flier on it's way to you soon.

S'CAMP

It's official. Registration for S'CAMP is now open. If you haven't heard, S'CAMP is REALife's summer camp... the most awesome week of summer for many of our students. We head down to Myrtle Beach for five days of the beach, fun, and amazing worship. To register your son or daughter head over to the events page of our website by CLICKING HERE. S'CAMP is also open to high school students outside of REALife, so have your son or daughter bring a friend. Space is limited, and registration ends April 17th.

More on the Dangers of "Sexting"

I've written about this issue before, but teenagers are still dealing with this issue. Today's Charlotte Observer draws more attention to the dangers of "sexting" among teenagers. Check out the article here: http://tinyurl.com/6lbbcm9.

If you haven't addressed this topic with your son or daughter by now, it's time to do it now.

Jamaica 2011

For the past three years Meck has been partnering with Won by One ministries to bring a team down to Harmons Jamaica from our church. While we often think that Jamaica is just a tropical paradise with beautiful sand beaches, the truth is that most of the people on the island live in extreme poverty. Harmons is a village in the interior of the island, and this village along with the surrounding villages are some of the poorest areas in Jamaica.

Needless to say, we're taking another group down this summer to serve the people of Jamaica. This trip is open to everyone at Meck over thirteen years of age, and each year we try to get as many REALife students on this trip as possible. I will avoid giving all the details here, but you can find them on our website by CLICKING HERE.

What I will tell you is that this trip is a life changer for all our students who attend. We get to experience the love of Jesus first hand as we serve some of the poorest of the poor in the world. This trip benefits the people of Jamaica in amazing ways, and also inspires all of our groups who have participated. I've been on this trip three years running, and each time we come back I see a group of Meck people who's lives are changed in amazing ways.

So check out the website above. If you have any more questions please free to ask. The registration deadline is the end of March. And check out these pictures from last years trip.

Mating, Dating, & Mating Week 1

Our Waiting, Dating, & Mating series has begun, and let me tell you... the energy in the room this past weekend was off the charts. Students were so engaged and eager to hear about this topic of sex that is so prevalent in the culture all around them. This is a topic that really interests them and one they truly want to hear about. Students are hearing about sex from friends, from school, from social media, and from so many other outlets, but these sources of information don't hold the same weight as the Bible. Those other outlets don't usually move past discussing sex as an action based on physical urges, but the Bible speaks to much deeper questions about sex, like 1) how should we view sex? 2) is there a right and wrong time and place for it? and 3) are there moral implications for going at this the wrong way? As we continue this series, let's keep the conversations going with our students to help them establish a Christian mindset for how to approach this important topic.

Among other lessons from this past weekend, I challenged our students with two things:

First, I challenged them to step back and consider how they are speaking to the opposite sex. Our students live in a very sexualized culture. They are surrounded by people who use sexually explicit language as a means to put people down, coerce sexual activity, or merely make a joke at another person's expense. The language that our students use can contribute to treating others this way, or their language can stand out as words of love, care, and respect that exemplify the love of God. At REALife we brought up Ephesians 4:29, that we are "not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." It's important to realize that the topic of sex should not be isolated to the physical act itself, as we can see that even our language can get wrapped up in this topic as well.

Second, I also challenged our students in the area of pornography. This is a serious issue that a large percentage of teens struggle with. Matthew 5:27-28 tells us "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Pornography objectifies those involved as the people being viewed become objects of our fantasy instead of human beings created in the image of God. As Christians we are called to a higher view of humanity than that, as we believe that people are created in the image and likeness of God.

From here let's see how you can help lead your son or daughter in these areas. I would encourage you to sit them down and have a conversation with them about these issues. This shouldn't be just a passing question on their way out the door. Really set some time aside and ask them some serious questions: "How do your friends treat the opposite sex?" "Explain to me what it means to treat others the way God wants us to treat them?" "Do you struggle with pornography?" We also need to understand that while this topic really interests them one of the biggest fears teens have is disappointing their parents for mistakes they've made. When you approach your son or daughter with these questions be sure to make it clear that you will love them and help them through any issue they are facing. Opening up this line of communication may be difficult at first, but establishing this kind of openness will greatly help you be able to speak God's truth into the life of your son or daughter.

Please contact me if you need further direction when navigating through this topic with your son or daughter. And know that I will be praying for you.

Waiting, Dating, and Mating

This weekend we're starting our annual reoccurring series called "Waiting, Dating, and Mating." This is a relationship series designed to discuss what the Bible has to say about issues related to sexuality. I know that when a youth ministry presents these types of topics, parents can start thinking a couple of things that are a little off-track from the goal of this series. Let me speak to both of them here.

The first thought of some parents might be "Yeah, the church is talking to my son or daughter about sex... so I don't have to." That thought couldn't be further from the intention of this series. It is my desire and goal for this series to open up the lines of communication between parents and students. I want students to go to there parents with their questions and struggles about relationships, and I believe it is the parent's primary role to lead their children to follow God in this area of life. We are taught in Deuteronomy 6 that we are to impress God's teachings onto our children, and this doesn't exclude God's guidelines for our sexuality. My challenge to you as parents is to have a conversation with your son or daughter after every service to find out not only what they are learning, but also what they think about what they are learning as well. You may also find other conversation starters throughout the week by downloading our Daily Dose of Awesome on our website (mecklenburg.org). These are follow-up readings about the topics we discuss at REALife, and are great ways to keep the conversation going with your family throughout the week.

The second thing that comes to mind with some parents is "Sex is not something to be discussed in public. Why should we be talking about this at church?" Here's my answer to that question. Students hear sexual messages and see sexual images on a regular basis. All one has to do is walk through the halls of a high school for less than a minute to hear that sex is a major part of students lives. It's what they talk about. It's what interests and intrigues them. It's what the media is feeding them. And for the church to remain silent on an issue so entrenched in teenage culture is huge mistake. Plus, the Bible is full of valuable information for our lives in relation to sex, so why not discuss what the Bible has to say about it?

And let me reassure you of what this series is not... It is not an anatomy or sex education class. We are not discussing "how it all works", but rather how it all relates to God and our faith. So, if you have never talked about sex with your son or daughter up to this point in their lives, I would recommend having a conversation with them before they attend this series. This will better help prepare them for what we will be discussing.

So, let the conversation begin. And please contact me if you care to discuss in more detail the topics being covered, or if you have any questions related to how to handle this topic with your son or daughter.

Serve Days

When most people hear the word "church" they think of a building where you meet on Sundays. This is a common understanding of this word, but in reality the word is much more significant than just a building. In the Bible the word church is used to describe not just a building, but the people of God. It's not only important to understand this; it's important to live this out as well. When the people of God, His church, live out their faith and love for Him they are being a living demonstration of God's presence in this world. No building can do that... it requires God's people to act on their faith in their lives.

That's why once a month at REALife we gather together to head outside the walls of the church building to show our community the love of God. We call these events "Serve Days" and they happen one Saturday every month. Our next Serve Day is this coming Saturday, and you can get more information about it on our website by CLICKING HERE. All high school students are welcome to attend. Parents of high school students are also invited, but not required to attend. Our hope is that through these events the love of God would spread outside the walls of the church and into our community, and that these Serve Days that happen once a month would inspire lifestyles of service that will really make a difference for Jesus in this world.

Reaching Out

This week I have been inspired through the preparation of our REALife service that is geared towards helping our students reach out to those who don't know Jesus. In my thoughts and prayers I was reminded of a certain mom of a student in our ministry. Almost every week she goes out of her way to pick up at least one of her son's friends to bring them to REALife. I think it is such a witness to our mission at Meck to see someone so willing to reach out (and help her son reach out) to the people around them. Seeing this mom give these rides week after week made me re-realize a very underestimated ministry tool... the free ride. An invitation to church is great, and we should be inviting our friends to church. But if that invitation is followed up by "and I'll pick you up at 6:30" it goes that much further. This offer to pick them up counteracts a few major deterrents from attending church. With your offer to pick them up they now have to put zero effort into looking up the address and directions, they have to spend no money getting there, and they don't have to worry about not knowing anyone when they arrive because you are with them. This makes a huge difference to a first time guest of our church. This is something that we can apply to our lives as adults, but it is something that is even more important with high school students. If your son or daughter asks a friend to come check out REALife, in addition to the obstacles mentioned above they have to battle an even bigger obstacle than most of us face as adults... their friend most likely doesn't have a car and their parents will not drive them to church. The student who may want to say "yes" knows that he or she can't get there, and the valiant efforts of our students to invite them are stopped in its tracks.

So what do we do? First, let's remember our mission to help people become followers of Jesus. As a church we are dedicated to doing all that we can to help reach people with the love of Jesus that can transform their lives. Next, we can put that mission into action. If your son or daughter already drives, encourage them to offer their friends rides to REALife. And if you are the one who drives them to REALife have a conversation with your son or daughter to let them know that you are more than willing to pick up their friends to help get them to REALife. And think about it this way... five to ten extra minutes of driving could impact the life of a high school student for eternity. This is what I will be challenging our students with this weekend, but it's a message we all need to be reminded of from time to time.

On a similar note, I also understand that we have some parents out there who are in need of some help getting their son or daughter to REALife, especially now that our church is spread so wide over several different campuses. If you are interested in carpooling with other families in your area, send me an email to rsmernoff@mecklenburg.org that tells me: (1) your name, (2) address or general area, (3) number of students needing rides, and (4) the best method to contact you? I cannot promise you that we will find someone to carpool with in your area, but we can at least see if we can make it happen.

God is Not...

We're starting a new series at REALife this weekend. It's called "God is not..." and through this series we are going to take a look into three commonly held misconceptions about God. This will be a three week long series, and you can keep up with it through our follow-up readings to every message. CLICK HERE to go to our "further study" section to download those follow-up readings.

This week we're taking a deeper look into the phrases "I think God is..." or "To me God is like...". So often we hold views about God or hear views about Him that are more based on opinion than on God's word. We have to realize that just because we think God is a certain way, doesn't mean we're always right. God is not everything we think He is. We have to go back to the Bible to make sure that our views on God are founded on His truth, not simply our conjecture. I hope that this series will help students come to a more accurate understanding of who God is by dispelling myths about Him, and that we can also move on from this series with a greater appreciation of God's Word.

Pastor Jim White's Blog

For those of you who do not know, our senior pastor Jim White updates a blog weekly that discusses issues of faith and culture. All of his posts are worth a read, but today's post especially hit me, as it is a topic that relates so much to what teenagers (and adults) struggle with...being angry with God. Check out the link below, and if you desire to receive updates from this blog when they are posted you can click the "subscribe" button on the lower right side of the page.

Church and Culture Blog

Jeremiah 29:13

This week at REALife we discussed how there are common misconceptions that many people have about Christianity. So many people consider Christianity to be just a list of rules. Others consider Christianity to be a checklist of things to do... as though Christianity only involves going to church, reading your Bible and being a good person. While those things are at times included in Christianity, that is not what it's all about. Christianity is about pursuing a relationship with the God that deeply and passionately loves us. When we see God as a list of rules or Christianity as just a checklist of things to complete in a week we severely miss out on a truly amazing relationship that has the power to transform our lives. Christianity is a relationship to pursue... not an obligation to keep.

This past weekend at REALife I challenged the students to this understanding of pursuing a relationship with God. Our passage of scripture was Jeremiah 29:13, where God tells us "you will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart." This verse tells us two very important things. First, God wants to be pursued by us. This verse is a relational declaration from God. He is calling us to seek Him. He is calling us to pursue a relationship with Him as we would a relationship with someone we truly love.

The second thing this verse tells us is that this relationship with God isn't always easy. But let me ask you a question; is any relationship easy? From my experience with relationships, if you don't put time and effort into it, it is going to be shallow at best, but most likely it will grow to be non-existent. We can expect nothing less from our relationship with God. If we're not pursuing Him and putting in the effort that relationship will die.

So I gave the students three ways to pursue this relationship with God: regularly practice a quiet time with God, engage in conversation about God with others, and continuously think about Him and His word. These are three ways that we can all grow to pursue God better in our lives. As we move forward with our year at REALife, these points will be ones that I encourage in the lives of our students, and I pray that you as parents will join in or continue on in this effort.

One way you can keep up-to-date on the topics we cover at REALife is by downloading our "Daily Dose of Awesome." This is a resource I create for students each week to help in their daily devotional life. It has daily readings that relate to the topic we cover at REALife, and is great for helping students relate what we are teaching to their daily lives. This resource is available to you to download on our website, so please click that link and check it out.

I know this could possibly be a new topic for some of you. Pursuing God as a relationship is different than what some of us might be used to. If this is a topic for which you would like more direction as it relates to your son, daughter or even yourself, please feel free to email me at rsmernoff@mecklenburg.org and we can discuss this further.

Super Bowl Party

We're having a Super Bowl party for REALife. It's Sunday February 6th, and it will last from 6pm until the end of the game. Your son or daughter may leave or get picked up before the game is over if it is running too late.

We'll be providing soda, pizza, and the game on the big screen at the church...all for free. So encourage your son or daughter to bring a friend, and we'll see them at the party

In Honor of MLK Day

I came across this quote from a sermon by Dr. Martin Luther King from January 1965. He delivered this message to his congregation in Montgomery Alabama during some of the most difficult times in the movement towards Civil Rights . This inspired me when I read it... I hope it does the same for you.

God’s control is never usurped. If at times we despair because of the relatively slow progress being made in ending racial discrimination, let us gain new heart in the fact that God is able. In our sometimes difficult and often lonesome walk up freedom’s road, we do not walk alone. God walks with us. God has placed within the very structures of the universe certain absolute moral laws. We can neither defy nor break them. If we disobey them, they will break us. The forces of evil may temporarily conquer truth, but truth will ultimately conquer its conqueror. Our God is able.

Summer Camp

Good news for those of you who plan your summers early...

We already have our dates for S'CAMP (REALife Summer Camp). We're heading back down to Myrtle Beach June 20-24, so mark your calendars and get ready for the best week of summer. More details coming in Spring.