Waiting, Dating, and Mating

This weekend we're starting our annual reoccurring series called "Waiting, Dating, and Mating." This is a relationship series designed to discuss what the Bible has to say about issues related to sexuality. I know that when a youth ministry presents these types of topics, parents can start thinking a couple of things that are a little off-track from the goal of this series. Let me speak to both of them here.

The first thought of some parents might be "Yeah, the church is talking to my son or daughter about sex... so I don't have to." That thought couldn't be further from the intention of this series. It is my desire and goal for this series to open up the lines of communication between parents and students. I want students to go to there parents with their questions and struggles about relationships, and I believe it is the parent's primary role to lead their children to follow God in this area of life. We are taught in Deuteronomy 6 that we are to impress God's teachings onto our children, and this doesn't exclude God's guidelines for our sexuality. My challenge to you as parents is to have a conversation with your son or daughter after every service to find out not only what they are learning, but also what they think about what they are learning as well. You may also find other conversation starters throughout the week by downloading our Daily Dose of Awesome on our website (mecklenburg.org). These are follow-up readings about the topics we discuss at REALife, and are great ways to keep the conversation going with your family throughout the week.

The second thing that comes to mind with some parents is "Sex is not something to be discussed in public. Why should we be talking about this at church?" Here's my answer to that question. Students hear sexual messages and see sexual images on a regular basis. All one has to do is walk through the halls of a high school for less than a minute to hear that sex is a major part of students lives. It's what they talk about. It's what interests and intrigues them. It's what the media is feeding them. And for the church to remain silent on an issue so entrenched in teenage culture is huge mistake. Plus, the Bible is full of valuable information for our lives in relation to sex, so why not discuss what the Bible has to say about it?

And let me reassure you of what this series is not... It is not an anatomy or sex education class. We are not discussing "how it all works", but rather how it all relates to God and our faith. So, if you have never talked about sex with your son or daughter up to this point in their lives, I would recommend having a conversation with them before they attend this series. This will better help prepare them for what we will be discussing.

So, let the conversation begin. And please contact me if you care to discuss in more detail the topics being covered, or if you have any questions related to how to handle this topic with your son or daughter.

Serve Days

When most people hear the word "church" they think of a building where you meet on Sundays. This is a common understanding of this word, but in reality the word is much more significant than just a building. In the Bible the word church is used to describe not just a building, but the people of God. It's not only important to understand this; it's important to live this out as well. When the people of God, His church, live out their faith and love for Him they are being a living demonstration of God's presence in this world. No building can do that... it requires God's people to act on their faith in their lives.

That's why once a month at REALife we gather together to head outside the walls of the church building to show our community the love of God. We call these events "Serve Days" and they happen one Saturday every month. Our next Serve Day is this coming Saturday, and you can get more information about it on our website by CLICKING HERE. All high school students are welcome to attend. Parents of high school students are also invited, but not required to attend. Our hope is that through these events the love of God would spread outside the walls of the church and into our community, and that these Serve Days that happen once a month would inspire lifestyles of service that will really make a difference for Jesus in this world.

Reaching Out

This week I have been inspired through the preparation of our REALife service that is geared towards helping our students reach out to those who don't know Jesus. In my thoughts and prayers I was reminded of a certain mom of a student in our ministry. Almost every week she goes out of her way to pick up at least one of her son's friends to bring them to REALife. I think it is such a witness to our mission at Meck to see someone so willing to reach out (and help her son reach out) to the people around them. Seeing this mom give these rides week after week made me re-realize a very underestimated ministry tool... the free ride. An invitation to church is great, and we should be inviting our friends to church. But if that invitation is followed up by "and I'll pick you up at 6:30" it goes that much further. This offer to pick them up counteracts a few major deterrents from attending church. With your offer to pick them up they now have to put zero effort into looking up the address and directions, they have to spend no money getting there, and they don't have to worry about not knowing anyone when they arrive because you are with them. This makes a huge difference to a first time guest of our church. This is something that we can apply to our lives as adults, but it is something that is even more important with high school students. If your son or daughter asks a friend to come check out REALife, in addition to the obstacles mentioned above they have to battle an even bigger obstacle than most of us face as adults... their friend most likely doesn't have a car and their parents will not drive them to church. The student who may want to say "yes" knows that he or she can't get there, and the valiant efforts of our students to invite them are stopped in its tracks.

So what do we do? First, let's remember our mission to help people become followers of Jesus. As a church we are dedicated to doing all that we can to help reach people with the love of Jesus that can transform their lives. Next, we can put that mission into action. If your son or daughter already drives, encourage them to offer their friends rides to REALife. And if you are the one who drives them to REALife have a conversation with your son or daughter to let them know that you are more than willing to pick up their friends to help get them to REALife. And think about it this way... five to ten extra minutes of driving could impact the life of a high school student for eternity. This is what I will be challenging our students with this weekend, but it's a message we all need to be reminded of from time to time.

On a similar note, I also understand that we have some parents out there who are in need of some help getting their son or daughter to REALife, especially now that our church is spread so wide over several different campuses. If you are interested in carpooling with other families in your area, send me an email to rsmernoff@mecklenburg.org that tells me: (1) your name, (2) address or general area, (3) number of students needing rides, and (4) the best method to contact you? I cannot promise you that we will find someone to carpool with in your area, but we can at least see if we can make it happen.

God is Not...

We're starting a new series at REALife this weekend. It's called "God is not..." and through this series we are going to take a look into three commonly held misconceptions about God. This will be a three week long series, and you can keep up with it through our follow-up readings to every message. CLICK HERE to go to our "further study" section to download those follow-up readings.

This week we're taking a deeper look into the phrases "I think God is..." or "To me God is like...". So often we hold views about God or hear views about Him that are more based on opinion than on God's word. We have to realize that just because we think God is a certain way, doesn't mean we're always right. God is not everything we think He is. We have to go back to the Bible to make sure that our views on God are founded on His truth, not simply our conjecture. I hope that this series will help students come to a more accurate understanding of who God is by dispelling myths about Him, and that we can also move on from this series with a greater appreciation of God's Word.

Pastor Jim White's Blog

For those of you who do not know, our senior pastor Jim White updates a blog weekly that discusses issues of faith and culture. All of his posts are worth a read, but today's post especially hit me, as it is a topic that relates so much to what teenagers (and adults) struggle with...being angry with God. Check out the link below, and if you desire to receive updates from this blog when they are posted you can click the "subscribe" button on the lower right side of the page.

Church and Culture Blog