Our Waiting, Dating, & Mating series has begun, and let me tell you... the energy in the room this past weekend was off the charts. Students were so engaged and eager to hear about this topic of sex that is so prevalent in the culture all around them. This is a topic that really interests them and one they truly want to hear about. Students are hearing about sex from friends, from school, from social media, and from so many other outlets, but these sources of information don't hold the same weight as the Bible. Those other outlets don't usually move past discussing sex as an action based on physical urges, but the Bible speaks to much deeper questions about sex, like 1) how should we view sex? 2) is there a right and wrong time and place for it? and 3) are there moral implications for going at this the wrong way? As we continue this series, let's keep the conversations going with our students to help them establish a Christian mindset for how to approach this important topic.
Among other lessons from this past weekend, I challenged our students with two things:
First, I challenged them to step back and consider how they are speaking to the opposite sex. Our students live in a very sexualized culture. They are surrounded by people who use sexually explicit language as a means to put people down, coerce sexual activity, or merely make a joke at another person's expense. The language that our students use can contribute to treating others this way, or their language can stand out as words of love, care, and respect that exemplify the love of God. At REALife we brought up Ephesians 4:29, that we are "not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." It's important to realize that the topic of sex should not be isolated to the physical act itself, as we can see that even our language can get wrapped up in this topic as well.
Second, I also challenged our students in the area of pornography. This is a serious issue that a large percentage of teens struggle with. Matthew 5:27-28 tells us "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Pornography objectifies those involved as the people being viewed become objects of our fantasy instead of human beings created in the image of God. As Christians we are called to a higher view of humanity than that, as we believe that people are created in the image and likeness of God.
From here let's see how you can help lead your son or daughter in these areas. I would encourage you to sit them down and have a conversation with them about these issues. This shouldn't be just a passing question on their way out the door. Really set some time aside and ask them some serious questions: "How do your friends treat the opposite sex?" "Explain to me what it means to treat others the way God wants us to treat them?" "Do you struggle with pornography?" We also need to understand that while this topic really interests them one of the biggest fears teens have is disappointing their parents for mistakes they've made. When you approach your son or daughter with these questions be sure to make it clear that you will love them and help them through any issue they are facing. Opening up this line of communication may be difficult at first, but establishing this kind of openness will greatly help you be able to speak God's truth into the life of your son or daughter.
Please contact me if you need further direction when navigating through this topic with your son or daughter. And know that I will be praying for you.
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